22nd june

watch princess diaries 2
watch the forgotten
watch the incredibles
get hair treatment
learn how ta ride a bike
get a new bag
get gold for syf
grow taller =X
a new watch which cost $129
patrick de soft toy
a new water bottle
a new wallet
money for band dinner
a piggie soft toy that acts like a santa
go swimming


;; y0uurr fo0tpriintx. iluu+
once upon a time
there was a gal

an ordinary gal
she hoped that everything in her life would be great

when she met him
she was in heaven and thought she got her happiness

but everything was like a bubble
and vanished in the thin air

there was nothing left

her thoughts...
i sometimes wonder if you,
still think of me
and miss me or if to do
i'm jus a face in a crowd.

i wish so very much that one day
we can have it all back.
but for now, i sit here silently
rememberin' all the memories we once shared.

hoping that one day you
will feel the same and
put back the pieces of me

missing you

Sunday, December 05, 2004.
1:33 PM

bass guitar rawks my world!!! haha.
went to orchard 3 daes in a row. yesterdae went with christine and ivy to get the pop lor. so the ma fan sia. then we bought a mambo watch for qiling!!! ha. so the expensive lor. dotty. haha. nevermind la. next year i also want ex ex de. hee hee.
anyway, should i buy a present on christmas dae for him? will he accept it? i saw a tatty bear. white colour de. but he prefer blue leh. so how neh? hmm. i scared that if i ask him go out he will say no to me again. haix. always reject me de. hmm. ever since he went over to njc, i really really miss him lots. miss him lik dont what. but i dont have the courage to message him anymore. nevermind. i get the present first. if he dont want to go out with me. then i keep the bear lor. just hope that he didnt throw away the stars that i folded for him in 3daes.

i want to see you again.
let it be this christmas will you?
i want a whiite christmas.
with you.
cause i just miss you too much.

the white tatty.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004.
8:44 PM

u-woO~ haha. long time no blog. was extremely busy. alot of band practices. and performances. and wee hOrnY is back!!! i love her soooO damn much sia. haha. my gf what. what to do without her? sob. hee.
okie. here goes.
alot of things happened. some are bad while some are good. bad things arh. some people in my section want to change section man. what the fuck is wrong with her?? cant stand her. and that regina and leqi. big bloody fat mouth. cant shut their asses up. damn. anyway. i dont really give a damn about them. and if she wants to go to another section, i really dont care le. ha. moreover. wee horny dont want her lor. that thick-skinned girl. think she want go then they will accept her. please lor. her playing sucks. breathing sucks. everything sucks. damn her. nevermind, go over and i have less trouble. and stop acting feminine will you? asshole.
haha. i am so vulgar. but who cares? it's my blog. and i dont give a damn.
performance on fridae is coming. 6 band dinner. 8 and 9 performance. 14-17 band camp. ha. i will die. gotta go. hee.


Friday, November 26, 2004.
6:34 PM

hello. long long time no update. haha. i now having a fever leh. at first sore throat and flu. now fever le. feeling cold. *brrr* anyway, nothing will happen to me de la. me so strong. okie. i had band from mon to thu. this whole week. and i am sick now. that means i didnt go band todae. and slept the whole dae instead. tomorrow got performance lor. i scared arh. no kenny. means i play solo. haix. no choice lor.
hmm. the two of us decided to start afresh le. i just hope that wont be like last time. cause it's always me. ha.
gotta go. really not feeling well.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004.
9:01 AM

hmm. it's 9am in the morning. i didnt go for english remedial. hee. who cares? that teacher sucks man. hmm. gotta go for my maths remedial at 11am later on. and my sectionals after that. hope that todae will be a good dae for me. no worries. no nothing. just leading a simple life. hee.
okie. i am really getting mad. who could be frying an egg at midnight? and enjoying them? oh gosh. i did that yesterdae. hmm. not bad. but my mum helped me with it. god. even frying an egg needs help from my mum. i am really a mummy's girl. =)
what happened yesterdae? hee. i cant remember le. bleahx. anyway, gonna get my bag soon and watch the incredibles. i will no matter what. bag bag bag~ when can i get it? oh. i remembered. haha. yesterdae only had a cup noodles. shit. and an egg at midnight. hmm. suibian la. treat it as going on a diet lor. what to do? i am in need of money! oh god. everydae 10bucks isnt enough! dad!!!!! i want more money. but that wont happen. ha.
gonna go. read others blog and get ready to go school. oh god.

Sunday, November 14, 2004.
10:35 PM

saw this in someone's blog. my junior's de. hmm. think is very touching. then copy. hee.

Jun & Jen are one young couple.
Jun is charm & many girls can't help but will
fall for him. therefore, he is flirt.
As for Jen, she's a ordinary girl with average
looks. Although there're guys chasing her, She
only love Jun. She knows that Jun will leave her
one day. but she still love him whole
Jen love rainy days.
she love playing in the.
rain, & whenever Jun wanted to join her, she'll
always stop him from doing it.
Jun then ask her: " Why don't you let me
join you?"
Jen replied: " i don't want
you to fall sick."
Jun then ask her again: "If playing in the
rain will fall sick, then why are you still doing it?"
But Jen will always keep quiet & smile at him.
Although Jun isn't able to join her, he felt happy. To him, as long as Jen is happy, he'll be happy as well. =)
However, happiness never last.
Jun fall for another girl after two months. He even love this
girl more than Jen.
One day, when Jun & Jen had their dinner
together, Jun told Jen that this will be the
last time they had dinner together.
Jen looked at him. She knows what is going to happen, but
she choose not to ask. Then, Jun request for a
break up.. And Jen. she accepted. because, she
knows, she knows Jun is just like wind..& wind
will never stop at any point.
That night, its the last time Jun send Jen home.
Jen was so quiet although she wants to
know what actually happen, she choose not to
ask. Just when Jen wanted to went into the lift,
Jun stop her. He said: "Jen, I'm really
that i've let you down. But i'll never forget
those days when i see you playing in the
those are the most happy & unforgottable
memories i had with you."
After listening to Jun, Jen can't help but cry.
Jun hugged her tightly. He said: "Jen,
There's one question i wanted to ask you long ago.
Why everytime when you are playing in the rain,
you just don't let me accompany you?"
Jen was stunned.
After a few mintues,
Jen replied.
Because i don't wish to let you know..

I'm crying..

touching huh? hmm. not bad not bad. haha.
6:45 PM

didnt really sleep well last night. spent more time cutting my hand. woohoo. now in a very nice state. nevermind. i like it.
todae slept alot. yesterdae didnt really sleep. hmm. and i only had a piece of white bread for the whole damn day. pathetic. i am in need of cash. nevermind. dont eat and i can save more money le. and also. i can go on a diet. now gonna go eat dinner. finally. can taste some food.
i just want to get over with everything. i will be strong. and forget about everything and lead my life again. i hate being myself. i hate myself for making my mum worry. she cares and i know. mum i am sorrie k.

i scared that i will forever be like this.
i miss my old self.
i cut and cut to reduce my pain.
i can no longer feel painful.

one fine dae.
i will go missing.
how i hope that
i never exist at all.
god bless mum.
and those who cared for me.
anybody please.
knock me down when i am crossing the road.
thank you.
or let me lose my memory.
and i will live happily again.

Saturday, November 13, 2004.
9:46 PM


i am mad.

i am insane.

i am crazy.

i am loveless.

i am an idiot.

i am a failure.

i am a dreamer.

i am brainless.

i am being naive.

i am thinking too much.

i am an ordinary gal.

i am just an alien from outer space.

i need love.
but i am loveless.

nobody loves me.
i will always be the one loving others.
waiting for others.
being an idiot.
i am taken for granted.
i will not let others enter my world.
i will not.
i rather live in my little square.
my little world.
thats all.
all my smiles are fake.
i am never happy.
i will never be happy.

from the day you left me.

i hope miracle will occur.
i will forget.
and love another.
like i said.
i am an idiot.

may god bless you.

8:20 PM

oh my god. todae is a nice day. nicest day bah. cause i was stressed cause of band. but then. things happened, and everything changed. =)
hmm. let me share. =)
first. i was very very very late for band. haha. actually should reach by 730 am. but then. hee. i woke up at 6am, off my alarm clock and went to bed
once again. then 10am then wake up. then rush to band. hmm. in the end, band ended only at 1pm. okie lor. then we meaning huiyin ivy and me went westmall lor. eat mac. then walked around. then i went over to meet him. in the end i waited for half an hour lor. but never mind la. i very suibian de. hmm. then at first dont remember how he looked like lor. but in the end still met up.
okie. then we went to watch movie lor. the forgotten. quite okie la. just abit scary. so sudden. then pop out. scared i will die of heart attack lor. then after that we went walking around lor. hmm. then he say i dao. and look like ah lian lor. -.-"
okie. never mind. thats what people think la. i cant blame him. then he pei me go home lor. had a very nice day. =)
hope to go out with you in the future. =)
god bless you.

suddenly, i feel that my heart is alive once again.
am i falling in love with him?
am i?
why am i thinking about him?
yes, he pei me go home.
but he has already left.
why am i still thinking?
maybe i hope that he hasnt left.
oh gosh.
i am falling again.
i am i think.
i will forget about the other him.


but what about him?
oh god.
should i tell him what i feel?


i need an answer.

but for now,
i am truely happy. =)

Thursday, November 11, 2004.
8:39 PM

hmm. great. i received calls from the majors and my sectionmates saying that bad things happened again. great great great. thought that problems are coming to an end. shit man. my junior is trying to quit. and i heard that she doesnt want to talk to the seniors about it. hey man. what did we do? nothing at all. okie. i was trying to call her and get an idea of whats going on. but. she doesnt want to talk to us. whats her bloody problem man? what kind of juniors do i have? pathetic.
oh. i am so sorrie. david sprained his leg and i think got infection or something. and here i am. talking rubbish and ignoring him. what a great girlfriend i am?! ha.
and my sec 3. they are united. however, zane is coming back i heard. and feroz blamed us for neglecting him. what did we do again? oh gosh. fuck. he come and go as he wished. who he think he is? siao. i rather he is not in my section. i make it clear k. i dont want anymore troubles. i am already having a headache now. and yuhli. she wants to quit as well. no. i wont let that happen. cause our sec 3 batch went through alot and alot. especially me. i kanna the most. but for my section, i am willing. i wont let her quit. no chance. she doesnt want to be our burden. but she isnt at all. =)
okie. we have been having our sectionals. and i cant help thinking that the majors and everyone else doesnt appreciate our efforts. pathetic. if this carries on, i might leave for good. and also. those people who dont belong to flute section, fuck off and dont care about our problems. thank you.

1:22 AM

my mood seriously got so much better. cause of that someone again. jiahao. thanks kor. =)
we will be catching a movie on saturdae. princess diaries 2. what a girly show. haha. thanks for being there for me and making my wish come true. just hope that you will always always always be there for me. =)
i am here too. =)